Tom Pride's avatarPride's Purge

(satire)

Prime Minister David Cameron said on Saturday he wanted to end the ‘All Must Have Prizes’ culture in state-funded primary and secondary banks and make participation in competitive activities compulsory for all bankers.

Hopes that Team GB’s exceptional results at the London Olympics will spur a resurgence of competitive participation in Britain’s banks have been thrown into doubt, however, by government data showing that only two in five primary-level bankers (aged 50 to 65) regularly take part in any kind of competitive activities at state-funded banks.

Experts say the lack of competition in state-supported primary and secondary banks – combined with a culture where big prizes are given even for failure – is leading to an epidemic of obesity, greed and laziness amongst the nation’s top bankers.

Cameron said he hoped the parents of top financial executives would support the planned changes to the obligatory curriculum which would include…

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About time, time to clamp down on this sort of Left-Wing, Multiculturalist Claptrap.

Tom Pride's avatarPride's Purge

(satire)

There was relief yesterday as the prime minister, David Cameron, finally showed a readiness for the coalition government to come to grips with the serious financial and structural problems facing the country by announcing a clampdown on excessive Indian dancing in schools.

Mr Cameron took the opportunity in a radio interview to highlight the steps the government is taking to deal with the double-dip recession, unemployment and worsening financial crisis across the country, the main part of which includes a commitment to stamping out the worrying rise of the popularity of Bollywood style dancing classes amongst British youth.

In the interview, Mr Cameron  blamed the banking crisis in particular on a lack of regulation of Far Eastern style dancing under the previous Labour administration:

What is clear is that the present mess in the banking sector was caused by the failure of Gordon Brown to control the disturbing rise…

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Boris Johnson – 2 hours of port a day “made me who I am”

Tom Pride's avatarPride's Purge

Speaking at a press conference to set out plans for a lasting legacy to the Olympic Games, the London mayor, Boris Johnson has put himself on a collision course with David Cameron by insisting there should be “a compulsory two hours of port every day” for senior members of the government.

But Johnson’s prescription appeared to contradict the prime minister David Cameron, who has defended the scrapping of the more modest target of two hours compulsory port drinking a week by the education secretary, Michael Gove and other cabinet ministers.

However, Mr Johnson said he believed the government shared his passionate belief in the importance of port and other expensive kinds of alcohol, adding:

I think it is profoundly important for the happiness, for the success of this country that port takes its rightful place at the heart of everything we do in government. I would like frankly…

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North Beds NASUWT's avatarNorth Beds NASUWT

Commenting on the press comments by Damian Hinds MP which seek to blame the NASUWT’s action short of strike action for the decline in school sporting activities, Chris Keates, General Secretary of the NASUWT, the largest teachers’ union, said:

“These comments only serve to demonstrate how desperate the Government is now that the detrimental impact its education policies and funding cuts are having on school sport has been exposed.

“Selectively quoting from the NASUWT action instructions is just clutching at straws in an attempt to divert attention from the fact that one of the first acts of this Government was to slash the funding for the School Sport Trust networks as part of the Chancellor’s first tranche of cuts.

“This was followed by the unilateral decision to include the English Baccalaureate subjects in school performance tables which, virtually overnight, drove schools to reduce staff and teaching time in non-EBacc subjects, including PE.

“Add…

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Tom Pride's avatarPride's Purge

(satire)

David Cameron has defended his decision to scrap targets for school sports such as archery, as well as selling off all the bows and arrows, saying that expecting state school children to hit targets with an arrow rather than stack shelves in Tescos would be just a ‘box-ticking exercise’.

He also pledged to bring in further reforms to improve the provision of competitive sports in state schools by scrapping all school sports equipment such as footballs and cricket bats and selling off any bits of grass they could use as a playing field.

The prime minister said the key to the regeneration of sport was the return of more traditional competitive activities in state schools such as jumping through hoops to find a job or learning to sink or swim.

In a radio interview, Mr Cameron also went on to explain that allowing state school children to become good at sports may only…

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That the privateers are vanishing back into the woodwork and scuttling back under the dismal stones and rotten logs from whence they crawled, now that a new Birmingham City Council has turned the lights on speaks volumes about their opportunistic motivations. Perhaps they would rob your grave as readily?

North Beds NASUWT's avatarNorth Beds NASUWT

Commenting on reports that the creation of eight new academy schools in Birmingham have been put on hold after the council refused to write off £1.3 million in school debts, Chris Keates, General Secretary of the NASUWT, the largest teachers’ union, said:

“Why should the council taxpayers of Birmingham be penalised and forced to cover these liabilities. Birmingham City Council must stand firm against writing off these debts.

“If the private providers want to take over these schools so badly, then they also should take on the financial commitment that local authorities have made year-in, year-out.”

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North Beds NASUWT's avatarNorth Beds NASUWT

Responding to reports that since coming into office, the Coalition Government has sold off over 20 school playing fields, Chris Keates, General Secretary of the NASUWT, the largest teachers’ union, said:

“It comes as no surprise that another valuable public asset is being sold off by this Government.

“Asset stripping is taking place every day as the Government hands over valuable public land and buildings to the privateers who want to run academies and other parts of public services.

“It was the last Conservative Government that began selling off school playing fields.  This is just history repeating itself with another Government that knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.”

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My heart bleeds…

Tom Pride's avatarPride's Purge

(satire)

A gang of smooth talking conmen has left a Sheffield man with next to nothing after conning him out of everything he had.

The 44-year old victim, Mr Nicholas Clegg from the Hallam area of Sheffield, only discovered he had been completely stripped of all his dignity after he was tricked into handing over everything he had to the smooth talking conmen – who gave an address in Chipping Norton in Oxfordshire

And police are warning many other unsuspecting people across the country could have fallen victim to the same scam by the same fraudsters – but not even be aware how much they have been conned out of.

The fraud was only uncovered after local residents started to realise large amounts of money were being withdrawn from the country’s coffers and paid into off-shore accounts controlled by friends of the wily conmen.

Police are warning the public that…

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MP Louise Mensch quits to spend more time with the Murdoch family

Tom Pride's avatarPride's Purge

(satire)

Conservative politician and novelist Louise Mensch is to stand down as an MP, so she can move to the US and spend more time with Rupert Murdoch’s family, the party has announced.

The MP for Corby is moving to New York with her three children and her husband of a year, Peter Mensch, where she will be able to be close to Rupert Murdoch, his sons James and Lachlan as well as his daughter Elizabeth.

The MP, who won her seat in 2010 with a 1,951 majority, said she was finding it increasingly difficult to juggle Murdoch family responsibilities with her political career and her decision to quit politics was “devastating but necessary if I want to make a lot more money”.

Writing to the prime minister to announce her resignation, Mrs Mensch said:

As you know, I have been struggling for some time to find the…

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