ATOS declare George Osborne unfit for work as Chancellor

Ha! If only.

Pride's Purge

(satire – sort of)

ATOS – the private contractor paid by the government to carry out work capability assessments of disabled people – has declared George Osborne is unable to carry out his duties as chancellor due to “severe disabling conditions such as not being able to count”.

Mr Osborne recently defended parking his car in a disabled parking bay, explaining he is so severely handicapped by his inability to function as Chancellor of the Exchequer that he should himself be parked on disability benefits somewhere far away from the nation’s economy where he can’t do it any more harm.

Some medical experts however, have disputed the results of the assessment. One influential doctor with long experience of assessing disabilities said:

Osborne’s not unfit for work. He’s just a git.

However, a spokesperson for ATOS denied accusations that they had failed to assess the chancellor adequately:

During the assessment, Mr Osborne was…

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Author: gogwit

One foot in Sanity, the other in the adjoining parish, usually in the vicinity of the boundary between the two but sometimes straying into the main square of either and very occasionally taking occupation of the Town Hall...

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