(satire)

Education Minister Michael Gove has been dubbed ‘too scary’ for children under 12 years of age by the British Board of Film Classification.

It is the first time that the BBFC has classified a government minister, after it assessed Mr Gove following feedback from a testing panel.

However, the BBFC’s decision has been criticised by experts and psychologists, who say the cabinet minister is too scary for anybody even under the age of 97.

One child development expert explained:

It is clear that children need to be protected from any education minister who is as creepy and deeply disturbing as Michael Gove is – and it is absolutely imperative that people of all ages are protected from the risk of being seriously traumatised by him. In fact he should probably be banned altogether.

After the assessment of Mr Gove by its panel of experts, the BBFC recommended the Education Secretary…