Government scraps plans for society to pay for Thatcher funeral after realising it doesn’t exist

Pride's Purge

(satire – or is it?)

The UK government has scrapped plans for all of UK society to come together and pay for the ceremonial funeral of ex-prime minister Margaret Thatcher after realising there is in fact no such thing as society.

The dramatic U-turn came after research by the Daily Mail and the Sun newspapers revealed there were so many illegal immigrants and feckless work-shy scroungers in the UK, that there would not be nearly enough hard-working, striving bankers left in the country to pay for the funeral.

In a short statement, a spokesperson for the coalition government explained the reasons for the decision:

Obviously it would be wrong to expect the funeral to be paid for by society if – as Lady Thatcher herself confirmed – it doesn’t actually exist.

So we’ve asked the many diligent bankers in the UK who selflessly keep the country afloat with their…

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Author: gogwit

One foot in Sanity, the other in the adjoining parish, usually in the vicinity of the boundary between the two but sometimes straying into the main square of either and very occasionally taking occupation of the Town Hall...

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