Lord Tebbit – gay marriage threat to bees as queens more likely to become lesbians

(satire)

Outspoken former Conservative chairman Lord Tebbit has joined a growing chorus urging action to save the world’s endangered bee populations under threat from gay marriage saying it would pave the way for queens to become lesbians thereby endangering future colonies.

In an interview for the Big Issue, Lord Tebbit also claimed that legislation legalising gay marriage would pave the way for higher honey prices as bees spent less time and energy on making honey from nectar in order to concentrate more on making honey with each other.

Tebbit said that Downing Street had tried to push the legislation too quickly and had not properly considered what the full ramifications of allowing gay marriage might be for the future of English breakfasts:

I said to a minister: have you thought this through? Because you’re affecting the future of toast eating, too.

It’s time more decent people stood up against this insidious…